another moral hangover. fuck.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
