why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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