maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
