I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
