Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
