Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
