My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
