You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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