So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
