Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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