The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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