oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize