Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
