Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
