i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
