I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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