She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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