You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
