Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
