I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
