he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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