ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
