I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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