I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
