Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
