Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
