would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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