dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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