What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
