I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
