I wanna bring you to show and tell
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
