Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
