Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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