pop tarts are not kleenex
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
