break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
