I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
