I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
