I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
