tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need a burrito and a hug.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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