I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
