please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
