dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize