I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize