Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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