He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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