you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
