my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I touched a dick in church today
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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