Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
