My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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