Fine. I'll sleep in my office
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
