I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
