It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
