He disabled his match.com account in front of me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
