Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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