i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
