big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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