It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
