Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
