Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
