your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
