Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
