He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
