he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
