you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
