Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
