Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
