using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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