i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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