I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Alive.
So much puke
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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