Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize