I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
