I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
