Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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