dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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