I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
