I need help removing her.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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